You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
