Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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