Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize