But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
