I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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