My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
