she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
