When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
