State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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