Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.

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(702): View more from Nevada

I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.

Fav 23 4775 1703
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.

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(561): View more from Florida

I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."

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(804): View more from Virginia

I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.

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(518): View more from New York

Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.

Fav 0 17 76
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