About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
