Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize