i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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