We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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