I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
