I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
