Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
