he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
