I got chris browned last night
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
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