Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize