If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
operation have a gay friend backfired
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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