Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
