i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
