We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
