No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
