Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
