I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
