i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
