Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
