So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
