tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
