Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
