I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
