I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
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Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
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I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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