you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
