is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm having to shit out rocks
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