I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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