why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
