Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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