Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
