took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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