Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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