Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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