Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
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I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
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Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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