I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
