I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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