i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
