Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
