You're my little dorito
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
