Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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