We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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