No, you can still breathe under the balls.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
