More tranny stories later!
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
