Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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