you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
