I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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