he wants to bone in the snuggie
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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